Understanding and handling an unreasonable person is one of greatest challenges a small business owner must face–be it an employee, a customer, a partner, vendor or, you get the idea: it's a long list. According to physician and author Susan Biali M.D., there is a chance a difficult person in your life might not have a full-blown personality disorder; they may have related traits that express themselves from time to time. It still takes a toll on your self-esteem and well-being to be around them.
Various Ways a Person Can Be Unreasonable
- You can't have a reasonable conversation with them
- They twist your words or totally confuse you
- They tell you that you're the one who doesn't know how to communicate
- They make subtle or overt demeaning comments
- They say cutting things to you disguised as a “joke”
- They don't respect boundaries and seem to enjoy encroaching into yours
- They aren't willing to consider your point of view or listen to your side of things
- They just stare at you blankly, or laugh, or explode, when you try to explain “how you feel”)
- They are bullies
- They are verbal or emotional abusers (ranging from subtle to overt)
- They are manipulators
- They are liars
- They leave you feeling bad, sad, shaky or feeling sick in the pit of your stomach
They are Crazymakers
According to Dr.Biali, there are some people who are able to provoke you into acting crazy or unbalanced. “Crazymakers love making you feel like there's something wrong with you when you do when your behavior across the rest of your life is proof that you're not,” she explains.
How to handle unreasonable people and minimize the damage to yourself, your days, your sanity and your life
1 | Minimize time with them
Keep communications fact-based, using minimal details.
2 | Keep it logical
Don't try to connect with them from an emotional or empathic perspective. Unreasonable people usually don't care, and their response (or lack of it) will often only make you more upset.
3 | Don't drink around them
It will make you more emotionally vulnerable and more likely to do or say something useless that can make you more of a target.
4 | Focus on them in conversation
A way to avoid being the target of demeaning comments, manipulation or having your words twisted is to say as little as possible.
5 | Give up the dream that they will one day be the person you wish they'd be
There are people in our lives who have moments where they seem to be the parent/partner/spouse/friend you've always felt they could be. et they ultimately always end up hurting or disappointing us significantly. Amazingly, we fall for it and get our hopes up again the next time they treat us nicely or seem to have turned a new leaf. Giving up the hope and fully accepting this person for who they really are can be an unbelievable relief after what is sometimes a lifetime of wishing.
6 | Stay away from topics that get you into trouble
7 | Don't try to get them to see your point of view
They won't and you'll just feel worse for trying
8 | Create a distraction
Focus on playing with a pet if there's one in the vicinity, have the interaction be based around some kind of recreational activity or entertainment
VIA | Psychology Today
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