Wednesday, September 30, 2015

How Hand-Washing The Dishes Could Make You A Happier Person

You may be the type to put off dishwashing until the sink is jam-packed, but new scientific findings may make you more eager to clean up. A study published in the journal Mindfulness found that washing dishes mindfully could be therapeutic, increasing feelings of well-being and decreasing nervousness


To wash dishes "mindfully" means to do so with intention and focus, contemplating the sensory experiences of the act like the warmth of the water, the feel of dishes and the smell of the soap.



This is precisely what some study participants were instructed to do while washing 18 dishes. The control group, on the other hand, washed 18 dishes without the mindfulness instruction. Instead, they were given directives relating to proper dishwashing techniques. The experimental group reported increased positivity and decreased nervousness, while the control group reported no change. 


You don't have to relinquish your automatic dishwasher to get these perks; dishwashing is not unique in its ability to benefit people when done mindfully. Nearly any neutral activity, when accomplished with mindfulness, can yield similar results. Carrying out a mindfulness meditation while in the shower, for example, could be an equally helpful practice: You'd consciously focus on the way the water feels against your skin, the sound of the water hitting the tub and the smell of your shampoo, rather than letting your mind drift randomly to different thoughts.


The same can be done over your morning cup of coffee, taking in the smell of the roast and the heat of the mug. Doing the laundry, raking the leaves, vacuuming the floors -- these are all activities that can be turned into a kind of meditation. Your dreary chores just got a lot more worthwhile. 


H/T Wall Street Journal


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Thursday, September 24, 2015

Hugh Jackman Thinks Tom Hardy Would Make A Great Wolverine


By now, you know that Hugh Jackman is leaving his post as Wolverine, but that doesn't mean the character is going anywhere soon. 


In an interview with MTV, the Australian actor revealed who he thinks might be able to step into the mutant's sometimes-hairy skin, but not before reminding us all that he's still got one more film in the franchise to go.


“I haven’t really given it a lot of thought. I’ve been asked that question a lot, and I’m always like, ‘I don’t wanna make it too easy on the studio to replace me, you know! I’ve still got one more to do!'" he said. 


But after thinking about a little more, Jackman suggested, "He's younger than me for sure -- I think Tom Hardy would be a great Wolverine." 


We can definitely see that! 


Hardy, who starred as the title character in this year's "Mad Max: Fury Road," is also strongly suggested to be in the running to replace Daniel Craig as the next James Bond. He may have a busy few years ahead of him if any of these early rumors become truths. 


But as Jackman said, he's still got one more "Wolverine" film that we can look forward to. 


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Tuesday, September 22, 2015

5 Things I Wish I Knew About Marriage (BEFORE I Got Married)

It happens all the time. My wife and I hear things about our marriage that makes us smile. Things like:

"You look so happy!"

"You act like newlyweds!"

"You can't relate with what I'm going through because your marriage is so good."

"You two never fight."

We don't smile because these things make us happy... we smile because very few people know our story. And everyone has one -- even us.

It wasn't that long ago that Consuela and I were at the point of divorce. Things were not good and our marriage was in crisis. I don't type or say these words lightly. We were at the point of no return... or at least we thought.

We were meeting with pastors and counselors trying to restore what once was. We were working through the most painful thing that I have ever personally been a part of.

As I reflect back on that time in my life, there are some things that if I had only understood them fully, the crisis that we found ourselves in could have been avoided. Here are five of them:

1. There is no plan B.
My marriage is for life and only ends in death. Sounds a little dark, but it's truth. When I took a vow to love her for life, I committed to make it work no matter what.

My mindset was that I was going to leave my options open. If being married didn't work out or if being with Consuela didn't last or if she didn't make me happy, I wanted to make sure I had a way out... or worse, another option. But, in marriage there is no plan B. Plan B's open the door and keep me from fully committing myself to my wife and our marriage.

2. Marriage is not about my happiness.
So many couples make this mistake. And you hear it all the time. And I believed it back in 2000 when we walked down the aisle together. Consuela is my wife so that she can make me happy. That's what wives do. And, if she isn't making me happy, then I need to find someone or something that will.

The truth is, marriage is about so much more than my happiness. And, she can't carry the burden of my happiness. Happiness is subjective and relative and as a man, my definition of happiness changes so much that there's no way she could keep up with all my demands. Marriage is about mutual love and respect and honoring each other through our faithfulness. It is not about my happiness.

3. Communication is more effective than silence.
I'm an introvert. I'm also a man. So, talking about my feelings is as foreign and uncomfortable for me as flying an airplane. My default when something upsets or bothers me is to be quiet... and alone. And there comes a point when those feelings become so suppressed that I begin looking for unhealthy ways to channel my anger, depression, sexual desires, etc., etc.

What I've found is that no one loves me and cares for me and no one can minister to me like Consuela can. I can feel confident that she will handle my insecurities and emotions delicately. And, if I am upset with her, she is the only one who can fix it -- so why not share with her.

4. Serving her benefits me.
I always recommend the The 5 Love Languages book to those who are getting married or anyone who is already married. It changed the way I viewed the relationship with my wife. We naturally try to love others how we want to be loved -- and if that isn't their love language, the efforts are somewhat meaningless.

Although service to my wife is something that I should and must do in order to have a healthy, happy marriage, I found an interesting phenomenon -- when I serve her, it actually benefits me. Don't get me wrong, we should serve not because of what we get in return. But, it's pretty cool that we do get something back when we serve our spouses. I find that when I serve her (empty out the dishwasher, for example) it fills her "love tank" to the point where she wants to do the same for me. Pretty cool, huh?

5. Conflict is not a sign of dysfunction.
In any relationship -- work, family, friendship, etc. -- there is going to be conflict. It is normal and ok. For some reason, many of us put marriage in a different category. We think if we're fighting or arguing that there must be something wrong with our marriage. We immediately jump to the conclusion that our marriage is dysfunctional or damaged in some way.

And, when we think our marriage is dysfunctional, we begin thinking about plan B's, we stop communicating, and we stop serving. But, conflict in marriage is normal. It's how we choose to work through those times that determines how healthy or damaged our marriage is. I've found that viewing conflict as normal has helped me not hold onto offenses, helped me say I'm sorry much quicker, and work hard to resolve conflict as soon as it happens.

As you can probably tell by the beginning of this post and the comments that we regularly receive - Consuela and I have an awesome marriage... now. It is better than it ever was. Even better than it was the day we got married! Especially now that I know these five things about marriage.

This article originally appeared on timandconsuela.com.

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Friday, September 18, 2015

Here's The Inspiration You Need To Take Your Cat On Ameowzing Adventures

You and your cat could be having so much fun together.



Not just snuggling on the couch watching TV (you don't need help or inspiration for that). But how about taking your cat out hiking, paddleboarding, mountain climbing, canoeing and camping? Yes, you and your cat. Camping. 



Adventure Cats, a wildly inspiring Instagram account and Facebook page, features cats whose humans are already taking them on incredible outings. It aims to show you a world of activities that you and your favorite felines could both be enjoying, with tutorials on things like how to walk your cat on a leash, cat first aid, and other how-tos that'll help folks "enjoy the great outdoors with their cats in safe and responsible ways," says founder Laura Moss. 


The website is set to launch in early October.



But Moss is hoping that Adventure Cats will do more, even, than just enrich your and your cats' lives.


Given that some 1.4 million cats are euthanized every year in shelters across the country, she's also aiming to get more cats out of shelters and into homes, by showing what marvelous companions these meowsies can be. 



"While cats have a reputation as being lazy and aloof, there are actually plenty of amazing cats out there who will hike alongside you or even scale a mountain with you," she says. "These are the fearless felines that Adventure Cats wants to share with the world."



"I’ve talked to owners who do all sorts of activities. The list so far: hiking, camping, climbing, canoeing, kayaking, biking and even surfing," Moss added. "We walk dogs, so why not cats? They deserve a little adventure in their lives too."



A big emphasis is on the unique nature of cats. They aren't like dogs, who can be leashed up and basically brought along anywhere.


Cats should be voluntary participants in these adventures; the outings should never be forced or rushed. 


"You should never just wrestle your cat into a harness, throw some kibble in your pack and think you and Fluffy are going to hike the Appalachian Trail," Moss says.





She -- and Adventure Cats -- are inspired, rather, by the philosophy called "catting," espoused by the man/cat duo of Craig Armstrong and Millie, who famously take climbing trips together.


Armstrong gave some Utah college students advice about how they might approach catting with their own cat.


“I would suggest have patience, and be prepared to move slowly, and put your own agenda away,” Armstrong said. “And just enjoy experiencing nature from their perspective rather than your own, and take them, be with them just to keep them safe.” 





So committed is she to this approach, that even while Moss documents the most venturesome cats, her own two rescue purr-balls are taking things at a snail's pace. Which is just fine with her.

 

"Our walks haven’t ventured far outside the yard, but I’m confident that we’ll do some hikes soon," Moss says. 


 H/T Wired


Get in touch at arin.greenwood@huffingtonpost.com if you have an animal story to share!


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Wednesday, September 16, 2015

Just 2 Pooches With Their Heads Poking Through A Fence. Nothing To See Here

This is -- hands down -- the greatest way to be welcomed to the neighborhood. 


Reddit user dath0916, whose name is Jordan, recently moved to Royal Oak, Michigan, and decided to take a walk around his new neighborhood this past Tuesday when he stumbled on this hilarious sight: two dogs poking their heads out of pet fence windows. 



Jordan snapped a photo of the funny scene and shared it on Reddit. It quickly went viral with more than 6,100 upvotes, and over 3 million views on Imgur. Really though, who wouldn't love to see two pups casually chillin' in a fence? The look like they just wanna know what you're up to. 


"I thought the picture was funny but I only thought just a few people would find it on Reddit and think it was amusing," Jordan told The Huffington Post in an email. "It's pretty cool and I'm glad a lot of people were able to see the image and get as much enjoyment from it as I did."


Jordan said he was walking by the fence, accompanied by his wife and his own two dogs, when noticed the windows but didn't think anything of them. When the two pups poked their heads through, he was shocked. 


"It really took us by surprise and my wife and I both jumped a little ... but we both burst out laughing," he said. "It was still a hysterical sight because they both looked implanted in the fence but they weren't stuck, it just looked that way, and was obviously designed that way for them so they could see out of the fence.


Though Jordan hasn't met the dogs' owner yet, he told HuffPost that he'll probably stop by the house and let the silly pooches' human know that the pets have become Internet famous!  


 


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Friday, September 11, 2015

This Surprise Father-Daughter Dance Will Give You Major #QuinceGoals



Not content with a classic father-daughter dance for her quinceañera party, a Houston teen decided instead to enlist her dad for a surprise dance routine. And the duo ended up impressing more than just their guests.


Jasmine Cortinas and her father Leonardo, a retired U.S. Marine, performed the routine at her quinceañera party in June. The 15-year-old Texas native recently spoke to Today Parents about what inspired the choreography. The video of the dance has since gone viral and has over 1 million views on YouTube. 


"I wanted to do the surprise father-daughter dance because I didn't want to be like all of the other quinceañeras," Jasmine told the site, adding that she was inspired by father-daughter routines she’d seen on YouTube. "I wanted people to remember my fifteenth birthday and not just think of it as another party where they got free food or entertainment. I wanted it to be memorable for everyone — not just me."


In the video, the birthday girl and her dad begin a slow dance to The Temptations’ “My Girl” and suddenly break away as Soulja Boy’s “Crank Dat” comes on. The pair danced to a medley of hits, including “U Can’t Touch This,” “Gangnam Style” and “Tootsee Roll.”


Little brother Isaac also made an appearance in the routine, replacing Leonardo on the dance floor to dance “Watch Me (Whip/Nae Nae).”


"They were wowed,” Leonardo told Today about their guests’ reaction. “And a lot of the dads said to me that their little girls were wondering what they were going to do for their dance at their quinceañeras."


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Are You Pushing Customers Out Your Door, Rather Than In?

If you want more in the door, make sure you are able to handle potential customers when they call. As a business consultant I've much too often seen business owners spend tons on advertising, only to have callers treated with little or no importance by the staff, or even the owners. I'll give you an example that just happened to me.

On Labor Day I called a chiropractor who was referred by another health practitioner, to make an appointment for my father. The chiropractor answered the phone, and to make a long story short he told me he was with another patient and would call me later that day. So I gave him my phone number and he never called that day, as agreed, but not until the next morning when I was too busy to take the call. He then left a voice message telling me he was sorry but with the holiday and all he couldn't get back to me as agreed, etc. He also left the times he'd be available that day to take another call from me. So I called within those times and got a voice mail, at which point I left a voice message, and he never returned my call.

Chances are this guy is a one man office. That's how a lot of folks need to start out, but I'll tell you, if you operate the way he just did you'll never grow into more than a one man show. It will continue to go around in circles. And you know what? Whenever I've pointed this out to guys like this chiro, they always have excuses like this guy just did, i.e. it was the holiday. And this chiro will probably have more excuses if I ask him why he didn't return my call after I left a voice mail, but guess what, I'll never ask him that because I'll never call him again.

So you see, this guy just lost a customer. If he had treated me with respect, and kept his word, and at the very least called me back in a timely manner after I left a voice message (his second chance) he could have had a patient for many visits, for years to come, which would have amounted to thousands of dollars. He also may have lost a referral source because I’m going to tell the doctor who referred me to him what occurred.

The point is if you want more in the door, don't block the door by not making it easy for a potential customer to make an appointment or purchase your service or product. And for God's sake keep your word! If you say you're calling back today, than call back today, come hell or high water. The customer doesn't care about your excuses and you can have all the excuses in the world but it's you who will suffer from a lack of more in the door.

The bottom line is if you're going to spend money on getting more in the door, spend some effort making sure you and your staff make it easy for potential customers to make it through your door. And keep your word! To do otherwise reflects poorly on your business and pushes potential customers, attempting to get in your door, out your door!

D. Scott Tregurtha, CEO
Clear Advantage Profit Solutions
2840 West Bay Dr., #334
Belleair Bluffs, FL 33770
Phone: (727) 230-0609
Scotttregurtha@clearadvantagellc.com

http://www.ClearAdvantageps.com

Monday, September 7, 2015

Here's Why Madonna's Gay Brother Is Defending Kentucky Clerk Kim Davis


Being related to one of the world's foremost gay icons hasn't stopped Christopher Ciccone, who is openly gay, from defending Kim Davis, the Kentucky clerk who has refused to issue marriage licenses to same-sex couples.


In a lengthy, rambling Facebook post, Ciccone, who is Madonna's brother, said he believes Davis should be allowed to deny the licenses because of "religious freedom," The Hollywood Reporter reports.


"The county clerk in [Kentucky] deserves about as much support as you would give her if she were a Muslim [woman] who insisted on covering her face and refused not only gay marriages licenses, but divorce, accusations of rape and driving a car without your man's approval," he wrote.


Noting that "selective shaming and bullying corrupts a democracy," Ciccone, 54, acknowledged that Davis is required to follow federal law, but nonetheless added, "But why should she when DOJ and other civil authorities don't follow federal law when they choose not to, i.e. Washington State and Colorado (POT) come to mind."



"Once again, the gay community feels the need to be sore winners," he wrote. "Is it so difficult to allow this women her religion? Or must we destroy her in order for her to betray her faith."


He then concluded, "The rights we have all fought for, mean nothing, if we deny her hers."


Davis was jailed Sept. 3 for contempt of court after she refused to follow the orders of U.S. District Judge David Bunning and issue marriage licenses to same-sex couples. Her deputy at Kentucky's Rowan County Courthouse began issuing marriage licenses to same-sex couples Sept. 4.


Ciccone started out as one of Madonna's dancers in the early 1980s, and went on to design the stages for her 1990 Blond Ambition Tour and her 1993 Girlie Show Tour, the latter of which he also directed. His once close-knit relationship with Madonna was captured for posterity in the 1991 documentary, "Truth or Dare," but he reportedly fell out with the Queen of Pop during her eight-year marriage to director Guy Ritchie. His 2008 tell-all memoir, Life with My Sister Madonna, didn't ease the rift, but in 2012, Ciccone said he and his superstar sibling were "back to being a brother and sister" and in "a good place."


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Tuesday, September 1, 2015

Remembering Wes Craven: Terror Titan and Tastemaker

For most artists, the dream to one day create a work so seminal that it forever changes the course of the zeitgeist is idealistic at best. To make such an achievement even once in a lifetime is representative of a creator at the pinnacle of their abilities, tapping into a vein for which many others merely clamor. To film enthusiasts and horror fans, Wes Craven was one of these rare individuals. An artist whose work not only impacted the genre, but also changed the whole conversation.

Furthermore, Craven not only achieved this visibility once...he continued to do it time and again over the course of his whole career. In contemplating the auteur's contributions to pop culture, it becomes clear that Craven was not merely just another shock jockey with an eye for a good story, he was a master of the game and a genuine tastemaker.

When news of Craven's passing broke, I found myself legitimately bereaved. As a horror devotee and screenwriter, I grew up with his work and its influence on my own is undeniable. I have no doubt that many other writers are taking to their keyboards to make similar claims, and there's little question as to why. In a world where things are often dreadfully serious or absolutely absurd, Wes Craven was always able to take the minute idiosyncrasies of these two extremes and meld them into something unique.

Simply put...Wes Craven made fear fun.

It's hard not to see Craven's thumbprint all over pop culture. Although sleaze and exploitation cinema existed at the drive-in before Wes came along, he emerged from the adult cinema scene to give us Last House on the Left in 1972 and completely redefined the genre. Starring the charismatically creepy David Hess, Last House was a visceral tour de force, a tale of sexual aggression and revenge that studios and other filmmakers still are trying to replicate. Even the film's inevitable remake several years ago feels tame in comparison to Craven's raw rage-filled opus. It was a movie that set a precedent: You don't have to always play nice, you don't always have to be kind...and your audience will still beg for more. Imitators the world over followed. If that had been the end, Last House would still have gone down as a seminal moment in shock cinema, forever cementing Craven's place in horror.

But, in 1984, Craven introduced us to Freddy Krueger in A Nightmare on Elm Street, contributing cinema's most theatrical serial killer to a decade that was about to go full-tilt into a slasher movie craze. A litany of sequels, merchandizing, TV spin-offs, and more followed. Freddy became a cornerstone character of the zeitgeist. Now, 31 years after his introduction, the sweater wearing dream master is still scaring the crap out of kids. Freddy Krueger is a modern day Dracula, a boogeyman for the new millennium who will endure long after we're all gone.

...but in Freddy's wake came slasher fatigue. Endless sequels and knock-offs lead to a growing mockery and turn away from horror. For many, the genre became a general parody of itself. Craven recognized this, and sought to lambast the very monster he helped created. Directing from a script by Kevin Williamson, Craven gave us Scream in 1996. With that one brilliant movie, he brought interest rushing back to horror, utilizing a meta-style to satirize the genre and make people fall in love with it all over again. Scream literally changed how horror movies were done. Its edgy style and knowing winks are still echoing through the fright films of the modern period.

Three decades, and he changed the course of the genre in each of them.

Of course, Wes Craven made more than these three films. He also gave us the iconic Hills Have Eyes, the wicked fable The People Under the Stairs, and even directed Meryl Streep in Music of the Heart. He lent his name to projects as a producer and encouraged many storytellers to chase their visions. He wrote books, occasionally acted, and even had a killer Instagram account where he modeled t-shirts. Wistful and wild, Wes Craven was a creator to the core.

We don't get guys like Wes Craven much anymore. An individual fiercely committed to his vision, yet objective enough to poke holes in it when he felt it had gotten away from him, Craven was both grand and refreshingly accessible. The man didn't define whole generations just because he was good at weaving a yarn (though he was), but because he never lost sight of the human qualities that make us connect with stories in the first place. To box him in as just a horror filmmaker would be to not see the full picture. Wes Craven was a visionary who understood that sometimes our most primal elements are also our most valid, but, on the same token, sometimes it's okay to just want to escape.

Nobody lives forever...if anything, Craven's own movies taught us that...but I do wish we had gotten him just a little longer. Like any creative individual, Craven occasionally had his misfires. But, when he was successful, he could make the whole world scream.

So, in light of the passing of a true maestro, I raise a glass, tip a slightly charred fedora, and say thank you for all the great years at the movies. I hope, if only for one night, we all sleep a little less soundly in honor of the late, great Wes Craven.

Pleasant Nightmares.

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